It’s funny how when your trying not to think of someone or something, everything you see, smell and taste reminds you of what you’re trying to forget. Sometimes I just wish I could forget some of the best months of my life. When I was a child, my mom used to say to me “laugh only as much as you want to cry”. I never knew what that meant, or how that even made any sense. I found out last year, and I wish I was still that little boy wondering what it meant.

Sometime memories can be a bitch

The sun used to shine on me,
there used to be a fluffily clouded sky.
I knew about something called happy.

That sun is gone,
replaced by night.
those clouds now carry low thunder,
I only know misery and fright
and I don’t even recognize me.

Somewhere in between
something got forgotten and lost
the key to my soul
was replaced by a lock.

I can tell of the deep, dull crevice
I have let myself crawl into
but no one has asked.
If it were wished,
I would count the cold tears I’ve shed
but none of it would matter,
there would still be
the lost happy I don’t remember