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Rated R

Gather around children while I tell you a great story about a boy born of wool and earth. There once was a gentleman by the name of Hephaestus. He was a skilled metal worker who built great objects out of metal, what else? One day he was drinking with his old friend Hermes when the beautiful Athena came to visit, wishing to have Hephaestus repair her armor. Hermes, ever the trickster, told Hephaestus that Athena was winking at him. As drunk as Hephaestus was, he believed Hermes and chased after Athena. While running after her he got a little too excited and ejaculated on Athena’s leg. In disgust she wiped off his “man juice” with a piece of wool and threw it on the ground, and up sprang Rizwanalus “man of wool and earth” Happy Birthday Rizwan!

Little Riz

On the behalf of everyone on this site I wanted to take this opportunity to wish you a Happy Birthday. Being 23 is huge… I bet your aunty-jis will soon start making serious plans to look for a good Pakistani ladaki for you. If you ever need diabolic plans to get rid of prospective brides, ring us up.

Now here comes the mushy stuff…I forewarned you.
Thank you for letting us have some space to vent and doodle on your site. It’s just like you to share things with others- ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been like that.

We all wish you a Happy Birthday! Get prepared to receive some serious birthday beats! If you don’t corporate with us we might leave your sorry ass up at Algonquin. So, I suggest that you take it like a “manly man”.

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