I’ve been told the “party has ended” and must post something new.

The other day I was bored at home, so I decided to go check the mail and get some fresh air. While I was walking towards the mail box, I spotted a friendly neighborhood construction worker. I went over and began talking to him and asking questions related to building houses, hoping that I could take the knowledge he bestowed on me and build my own house one day. After a long discussion I decided I should be on my way. I had seen much, but I would see more.
Next on my journey, I came across a rather distressed looking woman. I waved hello and began talking to her also. Turns out her automobile had a flat tire and she had no idea what to do. So, I changed her flat tire and she offered me a hot drink and food in return. I thanked her kindly, but alas I had to be on my way.
I continued on my adventure, and came to my mail box. I slowly opened my compartment with the key I had safely hidden in my coat pocket. Upon opening the compartment, I was faced with a hoard of evil mail, Junk Mail, Flyers, and the most feared; Bills. Each one of these foes where facing me, mingled in a jungle of menacing edges that would surly cause agonizing paper cuts. Throwing caution into the wind, I took a deep breath and drove my hand into the compartment, twisting and turning to avoid paper cuts. After a lengthy battle, I held the evil mail in my hand, crushing it with my immense power. Victorious over the evil forces of the Mail, I thrust my hand into the air, showing the world that I had concurred the once indomitable Mail.
I returned home with my bounty, and all was well with the world.

*some or all of these events may or may not have occurred*