Sometimes I feel like no one can understand this pain
but I put a smile on, and show this world that I can

All those years we never celebrated together
Got me regretting, wondering if it would have been better

Maybe if were closer, like we were before
You would have asked me to go
Maybe I would have pulled you out
Stay silent, although I wanna shout

There is nothing I can change, but this mind goes deranged, because although life seems so perfect it just aint, in fact it’s really kinda strange, sometimes when driving . . . I find it hard to maintain, how do we breath? Im suffocating my own brain, I wonder if you heard me when I came, it’s been so long since I’ve seen my little homee, don’t wanna think back to that day but it looms over me, I can hear the thunder and the rain, I’m breathing . . . but it’s really faint. I would keep writing but I can’t.

Azeem, Asif and Jo and I were all in a car. I was extremely happy because it seemed to be that Azeem hadn’t actually passed. I was there sitting right next to him talking to him. His head was bandaged and he said that he wasn’t sure how long he had . . . but he was there right next to me.  I was so happy to see him. I leaned over and gave him a strong hug, tears dripping from my eyes. I told him something, something I can not clearly remember now. I told him that I loved him, and that I respected him so much.

It felt so real, so very real. My body lunged forward . . . only to see 4 am posted on the clock radio. Reality slowly crept in and the sad realization that it was all just a dream was almost too much to bear. I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t escape me eyes. I almost had to convince myself that a dream was all it was. I felt as if maybe it hadn’t happen. If I went back to Mississauga I would see him, with a bandaged head and his adorable smile. Falling back to sleep, I was able to dream some more. . .

I saw Azeem’s mom. Azeem was there next to me. I could see him and talk to him. But nobody else could. Was I losing my mind. He was trying to tell me his e-mail password? I don’t understand. I had to prove to everyone that I could see him and if I got his e-mail password that Azeem was telling me, they would finally believe me. I don’t understand what it all meant. He was so clear to me. Why could they not see?

That is all I remember, so I write these flashes down before they escape my mind, salty tears dripping from my face. Still a small smile, because I saw him, and spoke to him. . .

I miss you bro, I love you.

shit, i need some inspiration

divinely insight to help me with the preparation

cuz alone in this world we come

and alone from this world we go

so doesn’t matter if your death is quick or slow

learn to live with yourself. . . and grow

different roads, different streets
lost my cuz and let go of my girl in the same week
I guess you want to know how I feel
I got this success but alone it doesn’t feel real
Does it make you happier when you hear how hard it is for me to deal?
Do you want me to look worse to decrease my appeal
If I told you I was miserable, would that be happy for you to hear

Would it be music to your ears?
I listen to myself vent, and its really not like me
It’s actually quite sad, pretty disgusting
This is all new, exactly what I feared
Still, I suppose I must persevere

This is madness.
Sadness overcomes me.
I’m fighting the world in the front seat but your girl was too weak to make it through to next week.
I know havoc she will wreak.
Let her speak.
You were the true one all along and now she will weep.
When she comes back, loneliness will overcome,
but life’s not a joke kid, relationship is more than just fun.
So when you see her just run
If you need help ask me, although I got no gun.

Just letting you know I feel your pain
but now you have less to lose and a lesson to gain
You kept your cool and you maintained and refrained

from lowering down to her level.
She’s the past kid, bury it!
I’ll grab the shovel
Yes, most girls are just trouble.

I cant believe she tried the jealousy card
Tried to wound you emotionally and that must be hard
But your too smart for that spoiled retart,
who was on your case and in your face from the very start.

One last thing before I go, you tell that Jess
She was blessed and lucky to even meet you.
Yes yes I bet the only emotion she will ever feel will be regret.

Globalize this!
When she sees it, say surprise Bitch
I think of you when I have to itch,
my balls.. can you believe how many times I called.

Riz.. Out.

http://riz-e-designs.com - logo

MY WEBSITE – http://riz-e-designs.com

I have been doing some self-studying and been doing some sole searching into what I really want to do with my life lately, and after working on merikahani.ca I have finally realized that web design is a true passion of mine. The blank screen on dreamweaver cs3 is my empty canvas and all these new techniques with javascript and flash / actionscript 3.0 are driving me to learn new and modern web design techniques.

Perhaps it all started when I first bought www.rizzyc.com and got my feet wet installing a blog on that server. I have always been interested in creating something out of nothing, that passion has been with me since I was little. So I have worked hard and learned a lot and its time to reveal my new website to the world on my blog which gets quite a few hits/day.

The pricing is not fixed and I will update that soon on the site. So if you need something, you can trust that I will take on your project with a full 200%. Please use the contact section of the website to contact me or you can e-mail me at rizwan@riz-e-designs.com.

This weekend, me and three other co-workers made a plan to drive off to Sandusky, Ohio and visit Cedar Point. An amusment park with plenty of roller coasters. Here are some highlights from the trip, along with my top three rides.

1. City : Sandusky, Ohio – Smelly, ugly, and very gay. At night the smell of pollution filled our noses. They were some really weird pollen flying around everywhere, it looked like cotton candy. Or maybe the clouds had fallen out of the skies becuase of that digusting smell. In the entertainment side, head on downtown to hit a gay club and then you can visit a transvesite club if you wish. Retail wise however there are lots of plazas in the area including stores as Best Buy, Macy’s, Target and other sports/clothing stores.
2. The Hotel : Our days Inn smell almost as bad as the city smelled outside. The staff did not bother to clean our room after the first night, and most likely still has not cleaned it. There was a pool that was also poisoned with that same infectious cotton like pollen. There was supposed to be breakfast there, but the first day I went the lady was throwing out what little remained there. I did have orange juice both times. The beds were pretty small, and it doesn’t help when all my co-workers snore like bears. Thank God for my MP3 player which helped drown out the noise. The hallways of the inn looked like a dorm room from a small city college.
3. The Park :
   • The Bad :
   • I didn’t like the overall design. It was far from breathtaking.
   • There was no organization in the park at all in terms of signage anywhere.
   • No separating themes giving the park an organized structure, it seemed chaotic at best.
   • Flying Pollen, in our mouths while yelling on roller coasters near trees. There was honestly too much of that crap everywhere.
   • Old Mascot (Snoopy). Not really any dedicated section for kids.
   • Mist Spraying fans… that don’t work.
   • The Good :
   • Maverick, Top Thrill Dragster, Millenium Force, The Wicked Twister, Raptor, Demon Drop, and even Snake River Falls.
   • ICEE : That slush was addictive.
   • Lots of Parking and multiple entrances.
   • Staff from around the world. It was kinda cool how the staff was literally imported from different sections of the world. Interesting summer job for them.
   • Short Lines compared to Wonderland. Wicked Twister barely even had a lineup.
   • Short delays on most rides.
   • Yummy Soft Cookie.

Full Size Link

So the same website today informed me that this image made headline news on another website called This is London, but they weren’t reporting this as an image from a video game. They said that the image was from in Islamic extremist forum claiming that this is what America will look like after an attack.

A video game image is becoming fear invoking propaganda… what’s even more interesting is the comments from both sites. Some people say that Islam needs to be banned from “the West.” Now, because I’ve written a few papers on this this topic I found some ppl’s comments interesting.

The West will only stop Al Qaeda and radical Islam from achieving this aim when Islam is no longer permitted in the West. For too long, politicians around the world have been chanting the mantra that Islam is a religion of peace. It isn’t so lets stop pretending and start doing something about reducing its influence and spread.

- Adam, Harrow, UK

Oh boy, this terrorism thing is really giving Islam a bad name, arrhg now my brain is not working after reading such comments from such stupid people. Really, do i need to go over this again…

I’ll just redirect you to a previous venting post

http://rizzyc.wordpress.com/2005/03/06/mar-6-freestyle-president-bullshit/

or

http://rizzyc.wordpress.com/2006/03/16/muslims-attacked-in-hate-crimes-at-university-of-toronto-erindale/